We cross referenced my photos with others online until I was satisfied with Uncle Dave’s assessment. There weren’t no doubt that was Neil Michael Hagerty walkin’ up through the bean field just between my place and Dave’s. No idea what this meant, but it sure as hell meant somethin’. Dave and I were both fans of Pussy Galore, Royal Trux, Howling Hex…so it was kinda excitin’ to know that ‘ol NMH was in the neighborhood. Just couldn’t figure out what he was doin’ out there in the field. I drove the truck home and spent the rest of the day doin’ the chores and playing a little guitar. I was startin’ to improve little by little.
6:56 that evening them crows came back. I was out throwin’ hay to the cattle when this cloud of chatterin’ black obtuse angles comes arrangin’ itself right over the top of my tractor and bale wagon. Spit completely lost his shit and hid under the tool box behind the cab. He was a tough ‘ol ranch dog so you bet I took notice. Hopped back up on the tractor and gave it some gas. Cows had all the hay they needed and we started bouncin’ across that field with a cloud of crows mirroring our every move with their murmurations and general mayhem. Spit got out and started to leap and snap at ‘em. We got back out on twenty eight and headed west with a maelstrom of black beaks and eyes and feathers just encapsulatin’ us until we hit 7:02, and then off they went, headed south like a black tornado up in the sky. I was right by them east fields between Uncle Dave’s and my place, looked off in the distance and there was ‘ol Hagerty just standin’ there about a hunnerd, hunnerd-fifty yards to the south. Still lookin’ like a scarecrow. And then it hit me as to what he was doin’ here.
Six minutes of crows twice a day. A murder of crows. Best damn collective pronoun there was, but this ain’t no way to live. I had to make sure I was up early and well away from the house before 6:56, as the wife’s nerves were already coming undone after only two encounters with them bastards. Same thing after dinner, which weren’t no problem since that was normally when I’d be out throwin’ hay anyway. But my nerves was gettin’ all tore up too after about a week of this nonsense. Hagerty would be way off in the distance twice a day at 7:02, doin’ what he was doin’. But what I needed to figure out was how to get him to show up before 6:56. Scare them crows before they even showed up. I had a talk with Uncle Dave about the situation and we both agreed; It was time to take a walk out there and have a sit down with our man in the field.
Uncle Dave’s leg was pretty much back to normal, and my hair had started growin’ back in through some of the scar tissue. But he still had a bit of a limp and I still looked like a photo outta some medical journal teaching interns about how not to do skin grafts. I could see the caption now; “Malpractice insurance might feel like an unneeded financial burden to a young doctor. But one mistake like this could cost you your career.”
I got outta bed long before them crows showed up, did a few chores away from the house until they all came and went, looked out in the fields and saw Neil out there, just scarcrowin’ away about a quarter mile off the highway. We planned on walking out there after the evening visit to introduce ourselves and find out just what the hell was goin’ on. Givin’ the circumstances Uncle Dave and I had decided to lay off the entheogens, cough syrup and basically everything else except the bean hooch. That Ouija board still hadn’t turned up either, and the both of us were convinced that we had opened up a door to somewhere that we’d forgotten to close. Them crows had come right on through. Hagerty too. And who knew what else. We didn’t say as much to each other, but we were both feelin’ a lot of guilt and uncertainty about the whole situation. Uncle Dave especially, since them crows were only botherin’ me and not him.
I drove over to his house after lunch, but his truck wasn’t in the driveway. I headed over to his folks’ place to see if maybe he was there. Still no truck, but I decided to pay his folks a visit anyway since I hadn’t seen ‘em in about a month.
“Well well well…Sven Gossard Oliver. What brings you here, son? You come on in and getcherself a slice of this rhubarb pie I just made.” Dave’s mom held the screen door open wide and waved me in. His dad was sunk into the old armchair there in the living room, watchin’ a talk show on the television where everyone was just screamin’ at one another and the audience was eggin’ ‘em on.
“Don’t get up, Mr. Bauer.” I walked over and shook his hand while he sat, making sure to not block the t.v. while I did it.
“Wouldja lookit this?”, he asked me. “All these women havin’ all these babies and not one of ‘em knows who the dad is. I tell you somethin’; world’s gone straight to hell. Whatcha doin’ here anyway?”
“I was out lookin’ for Dave. Thought maybe he was here since he wasn’t home. Ain’t seen you or Pearl in a while either and wanted to see how you all were doin’. See if you needed anything from the store maybe.”
“Dave ain’t been by today, but if you’re goin’ by the store I could sure use some beer and a can of chew.”
“Sure thing. How you been feelin’?”
“Doctor’s got me on these blood thinners. I guess they’re helpin’ because I feel pretty good, but I nicked myself with the knife a few days ago and thought I was gonna bleed to death. Got all lightheaded before it finally decided to clot. So I’m fine. We’re both fine. What about you? Stayin’ outta trouble?”
I wasn’t sure how to answer that. I didn’t like lyin’ to Owen or Pearl, but I didn’t want to upset them either. So I just said, “Yessir. You know it. Gotta turn the wrenches all Summer while I got the time. School’s gonna start back up before you know it.”
Pearl handed me a hefty slice of pie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top. I sat down on the couch and watched those women try and pull each other’s hair out on the t.v.